King Connor
Art Ross Trophy - CHECK
Ted Lindsay Award - CHECK
Hart Trophy - CHECK
NHL 18 Cover - BONUS CHECK
What a night! Clean sweep. 3 nominations, 3 awards. But was there really any doubt. Before the night had even begun the Art Ross was already mine thanks to a 100 point season. Can we take a minute to remember I beat second place by double digits hahaha. Crosby and Kane couldn’t even crack 90…
Right off the bat they hand out the Ted Lindsay to me. The league’s most outstanding player. Yeah that sounds about right. And voted on by the people who would know best too, the greatest players currently playing. Think that through, these players that have been playing for years and years decided, me, a 20 year old, in my second year of playing, was the most outstanding player to lace up the skates this year. Crosby? Old news. Kane? Not the same since he raped that girl or whatever he did. Ovi? The great 8 has got more grey hair than goals this year. Im the new kid on the block and something tells me im gonna be here awhile.
Then finally the Hart Trophy. The one everyone knows about, the one everyone wants. Judged to be most valuable to my team. Well no kidding, I had this in the bag, home run, locked up, half way through the season. Youngest captain in NHL history, leading the Oilers to the playoffs for the first time in 10 years, hitting triple digits points, 23 points better than the second best on the team, highlight reel moves every night. This was a no brainer.
Sit back and get used to it. Im taking these three trophies home next year, the year after, the year after that, and you know what, let’s just say the next 15 years. Starting next year though im adding the Stanley Cup and Conn Smythe trophies for a few years too.
While im at it, whats with Talbot not being nominated for the Vezina!? Like the guy plays practically every game and still has great stats and that doesn’t earn him a nomination. Sure Bob and Hotlby are great but Price? Come on, that’s a reputation vote, Talbot made him look pedestrian this year.
Klefbom probably coulda been nominated for the the Lady bing as well. I mean playing 22 minutes a night, putting up 38 points, and only taking 3 penalties all year as a defenceman, that’s unreal! But instead a guy who got fined for diving walks away with it… hmmm…..!? but we’ll give Sexbom the award for best washboard abs in the league. Ladies enjoy.
Side note, im making an award up, calling it the Player with the Best Slam Piece, and giving it to Holtby. My Lord, id like to go five whole on her. He plays for Washington so he may never win a cup apparently, but whys he need Stanley when her cup size is bigger..and theres two of them! My girl was hot and all, but full respect to you Holtby.
BTW, Las Vegas? WYD???? Those were some horrible and confusing selections… on top of that the side deals you made were not better than the players you coulda took. And the trades you’ve made since have been just as poor. But whatever, I don’t care, you do you, and enjoy the league basement.
Goodbye Ebs. Our time together was short lived. But your contract was taking away money from me and Drai. Had too make some room now that theres two all-stars on the team. Im sure youll be great in NYI, maybe you and Hallsy can meet for lunches, just don’t turn around and start whining and bitching about EDM like he did. Im pretty sure Chiarelli thought he was trading for my best friend Dylan, but I guess we can settle for his brother Ryan. And please Chia, don’t spend any of that extra money on Russell. I get it, he blocks lotsa shots, but once and awhile id like to be able to be on the ice with him and not get stuck in our own end because of his inability to make a pass…
And as always, stay jealous Toronto ;)